A New Religion


January 26, 2013 by John Crapper

Today I’m making a big announcement.  I guess you might say I’m coming out of the water closet.  For the past few years there has been something happening in the bowels of society.  Up to now only a very select few have known about it.  Up to now only a very select few have been working on it.  It is time for that to change.  It is time for the multitudes to be informed and influenced by this budding interintestinal movement.   It is time to be flushed with pride and proclaim our new way of life.  It is time to proclaim ourselves openly as Holy Shitters.  It is time to tell the world about our Shitty Way of LIfe and the promise it holds for mankind.  It is time to give a Shit!

There is a new religion emerging.   It is not like religions of the past.  It does not require faith.  It does not purport to put man above the animal world.  It does not require the supernatural.  It does not promise life everlasting.  It does not require one to look up but requires one to look down.

Crossed out version of original image File:Rel...

This is the religion of the Church of the Holy Shitters.  Our religion is not a passing fad or a form of cynicism or satire.   Our whole belief system is of a consistent pattern that promises an advanced lower reasoning, more human community and a new and liberated individual.  Its ultimate creation will be a new and enduring relationship of each of us to ourselves, to other living creatures and to nature.  Our religion makes sense as a holistic and consistent philosophy.  It is both necessary and desirable.

The practices and beliefs of our religion must be seen against a background of what has gone before.  It must be seen in light of the betrayal and disconnect of other religions in dealing with modern life.  It must be seen in light of the Corporate State and the way in which the State dominates, exploits, and ultimately destroys both nature and humans.  Its sanity and rationality must be measured against the insanity of existing “reason”.  Its beliefs must be seen from the perspective that humans have lost control of the machinery of their society, and only new values, a new way of thinking and a new culture can restore control.

Our religion is a movement to bring our thinking, our society, and our lives in harmony with the revolution of technology and science that has already taken place.  It demands of us a new mind—a lower transcendent reason – able to plug our species into its rightful place in nature.  It demands that each of us assume a new responsibility for nature and all its living creatures.   It promises a life that is more liberated, healthier and more beautiful than anything mankind has known if we only have the courage and the meekness to seize that life.

You will never look at life the same after coming to know our Church and the Shitty way of Life it offers.

Shit Fountain sculpture


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Our climate is changing. I'm humorously serious about addressing it. I'm convinced my ego is the main culprit. My religion, Holy Shitters, demands I humble myself and celebrate the fact my shit stinks.
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