Super-consumer Crap Accumulators


December 19, 2013 by John Crapper

Typical Storage Unit

Typical Storage Unit

There is an industry that has sprung up that receives very little attention and yet speaks volumes about our lifestyle. People these days buy storage space to store more crap so they can buy more crap that they will end up storing. Marketers are busy creating ingenious new ways to store more crap in smaller spaces enabling consumers to continue to purchase more crap they will end up storing. It is an ass-backward conspicuous super-consuming circle of crap accumulation.

Society has always had its hoarders. But in the 21st Century people are farming out their junk to the growing number of self-storage facilities. People are leaving their possessions in self-storage warehouses for longer than ever too. But why are people willing to pay to store stuff they rarely use?

Public Storage storage hallway with storage un...

It begins as a temporary solution. You load up the car with the old recliner, an old rug you can’t bring yourself to part with, old letters, bin bags full of clothes, Betamax tapes and your cherished back issues of National Geographic. Then it’s out of sight and out of mind.

The mania for self-storage facilities began in the US in the 1960s and the country now has over 50,000 such facilities.

Companies have sprung up to help you with the chore of storing all the extra crap you have bought too. Take for instance the company Box Butler. Here you hire guys to show up, load their boxes up with your crap and lock’em up, then they drive them back to their storage facility.

Scary facts: Self-storage is primarily an American invention.  In 2010 self-storage was a $20 billion industry and has been the fastest growing segment of commercial real estate over the last 35 years. Nearly 1 in 10 households use a self-storage unit – an increase of 65% over the past 15 years. A billion square feet of storage facilities was built between 1998-2005.

More recently a whole new industry has sprung up to provide storage solutions that allow you to store more crap in smaller spaces. There is even a whole store dedicated to your storage needs. It is rightfully called The Container Store.

The Container Store #ocd #heaven

The Container Store


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Our climate is changing. I'm humorously serious about addressing it. I'm convinced my ego is the main culprit. My religion, Holy Shitters, demands I humble myself and celebrate the fact my shit stinks.
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