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Commandment #8 – A Closer Look

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January 9, 2014 by John Crapper

 

8. Thou shalt conserve shit.

The Church of the Holy Shitters 10 Commandments

1. Thou shalt pursue the understanding of Shit.

2. One who taketh a shit must giveth a shit.

3. Thou shalt not act like your shit doesn’t stink.

4. Thou shalt not poke one’s nose into other people’s shit.

5. If thou hast nothing constructive to say than don’t say shit.

6. Thou shalt not buy unnecessary shit.

7. Thou shalt not giveth someone shit.

8. Thou shalt conserve shit.

9. Thou shalt not take other people’s shit.

10. Thou shalt treat someone else’s shit the same way you would want your shit treated.

 Our 8th commandment reminds us to conserve shit.  What exactly is this commandment instructing us to do?

We have all heard the saying “waste not, want not.”  But what does that mean?  The term “waste not want not” probably originates in Yorkshire and means exactly what it says, never wasting anything results in never wanting anything. For example, only serve enough food at a meal that you know will easily be eaten, leaving no waste. Do not spend your hard earned cash on things you do not really need or want. Think before spending – “waste not want not”.

But our 8th commandment is much broader than this.  First, as Holy Shitters, we start with the conserving of the actual substance.  Fecal material is a valuable resource.  Just as we use steer manure, dairy manure and chicken manure as soil

 

Bahasa Indonesia: Tai sapi English: Cow's dung

Giant chicken

amendments to aid in the growth of our gardens, humanure is also a valuable resource which should be utilized instead of largely wasted like it is today in most of the modern world.

The fact is, humans think their shit is disgusting.   Anthropologists think disgust is learned.  They point to small children who show no disgust at dirt or feces until they are educated otherwise.  The anthropologist Mary Douglas concluded that something is dirty because it is out of place.  Soil in the garden is fine; soil on a plate is not.  Disgust becomes a way of ordering a society, of creating a hierarchy of what is safe and what is acceptable.  It also becomes a way of distancing intellectual humans from their embarrassingly animal origins.

When it comes to our shit we still don’t know how to deal with it.  Yet it is something we all produce, up to several times a day.  It is high time we get our shit together when it comes to our own excrement.

When we look at the predominant sanitation system used in the world today in an ass-forward way we can truly see just how ass-backward it is.  Each of us pays good money to have purified water pour into our toilets.  We then do our business and flush it into the sewer system.  We also pay hard-earned money to carry our excrement away to a sewage treatment plant.  Along the way it is mixed in with all kinds of foreign substances including chemicals, solvents and medical waste.  At our sewage treatment plants varying energy intensive expensive processes are utilized to separate out the contamination from the water to return it to its pure state to be recycled.  The remaining sludge’s value, as a result of human excrement being mixed with other sources of contamination, is diminished.  It must be further sterilized, with questionable results, before it can be used as a fertilizer.  This never-ending expensive cycle of mishandled waste typifies truly ass-backward logic and indicates just how out of touch we are with our true nature.  It also points out to what lengths we will go to deny our bodily functions and ignore our relationship and dependence on nature.  It is a very wasteful system from beginning to end.

Followers of the Church of the Holy Shitters believe there is a better way.  It is called Ecological Sanitation or Eco-San for short.  Ecological sanitation offers a new philosophy of dealing with what is presently regarded as waste and wastewater.  

613px-Ecological_sanitation_cycle-en

Ecosan systems enable the recovery of nutrients from human feces and urine for the benefit of agriculture, thus helping to preserve soil fertility, assure food security for future generations, minimize water pollution and recover bio-energy. They ensure that water is used economically and is recycled in a safe way for purposes such as irrigation or groundwater recharge.

It is easy to recycle newspaper and plastic.  It is certainly part of what our 8th commandment instructs us to do. Don’t waste food.  Don’t buy useless things.  Don’t throw away useful items.  These are all part of adhering to our 8th commandment.

But in the Church of the Holy Shitters this commandment first focuses our attention on shit itself.  Once we can deal with the fact that we are currently wasting this stuff and that a dramatic shift needs to take place in both our thinking and actions regarding it,  we will only then begin to satisfy the demands this commandment places on us.

When we start to save our waste all other waste issues will fall into place.(shitbit by Poop John the First)


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Our climate is changing. I'm humorously serious about addressing it. I'm convinced my ego is the main culprit. My religion, Holy Shitters, demands I humble myself and celebrate the fact my shit stinks.
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