Driving Ass-backward – Commuting Wastefully ( Part 1 of 2 )


October 23, 2014 by John Crapper


Analysis of data from the American Community Survey, gathered in 2005  found nine out of 10 workers, or 87.7 percent, drive to work with most people, 77 percent, driving alone despite rising fuel costs.


At a nationwide average drive-time of about 24.3 minutes, Americans now spend more than 100 hours a year commuting to work.  That’s more than the average two weeks of vacation time (80 hours) taken by many workers during a year.

Census 2000 observed a national average commuting travel time of 25.5 minutes.  This represented a 3-minute increase in travel times over those measured in 1990.  This is a substantial change given that the change from 1980 – 1990 was only an increase of 40 seconds.

These are some of the latest statistics I could find on commuting.   Most of us are going to work using our privately owned cars, driving alone and wasting a lot of fuel and time in the process.  And this waste is increasing.  This is ass-backward.

We need to search for ways to do things differently.  We also need to jump out of the box in our thinking and go beyond the usual solutions.  We need to approach this problem in an ass-forward waste-end first Church of the Holy Shitters way.

First of all we need to face facts.  This nation isn’t about to embark on a massive program to build a light rail system.  Most cities aren’t planning on dramatically expanding their public transportation options.  The percentage of people voluntarily car pooling or taking the bus isn’t going to rapidly increase.  People aren’t going to magically start riding their bicycles 20 miles to work.

Commuting must be looked at in a “using what we have right now” perspective.  We can’t afford to invest in massive new public transportation systems.  We can’t afford to waste the roads and bridges that have already been built.  We can’t afford to abandon using our automobiles.  That would be wasteful and we can’t afford to waste anything.  We need to utilize and increase the efficiency of the resources we currently have at our disposal while simultaneously developing a more efficient commuting system for us all.

This can be done if we put our Holy Shitters creative caps on.  In part 2 I will offer a new ass-forward commuting idea and ask you for your feedback.

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Our climate is changing. I'm humorously serious about addressing it. I'm convinced my ego is the main culprit. My religion, Holy Shitters, demands I humble myself and celebrate the fact my shit stinks.
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