January 15, 2015 by John Crapper
My apologies: This post was supposed to have been published on 12/30/14 but due to circumstances beyone my control it was delayed.
With the holidays behind us it is important to reflect on those amoung us that justify their hatred in the name of religion. I’ve had the following post written for quite some time. Now it’s appropriate to publish I think.
Being members of the Church of the Holy Shitters we are naturally cognizant, curious and concerned about the use of the term holy shit.
Some common definitions of the expression “holy shit” can be summarized as follows:
1. The excrement of a deity or other religious figure (God’s poop): i.e. If God ever took a dump I guess it would be holy shit.
2. Feces that are considered to be either worthy of reverence, associated with divine powers, or spiritually clean: i.e. After an incident involving a misguided but well intentioned church cleaning lady, only the church’s highest Priest is now allowed access to the sacred pile of holy shit.
3. An expression yelled at something bad and/or surprising: i.e. “Holy shit! Those drugs came out of nowhere, officer. You know more about them than me.”
4. An exclamation, usually one of amazement: i.e. Holy shit! Look at that!
5. The last words said before death: i.e. Look out for that car! HOLY SHIT!
The definition of “Holy Shit” in the Church of the Holy Shitters: Holy Shit is the substance held in reverence above all other substances found on Earth. Holy Shit and the contemplation and understanding of it guides us on our Shitty Path through life.
When the expression is used sometimes it involves more than one of the definitions listed above. The following holy shit moment is just such an instance as it involves elements of both definition #3 and #4. It is a real double-wammy holy shit moment.
As followers of the Church of the Holy Shitters we try to concern ourselves exclusively with matters of the natural world and refrain from delving into issues involving faith-based religious belief but their are occasions when we just have to say something. The only thing I can say as Poop John of the Church of the Holy Shitters is HOLY SHIT!
In May of 2012, Charles Worley,the pastor at Road Baptist Church just outside Maiden, North Carolina called for gays and lesbians to be rounded up and put behind an electrified fence so that they would eventually die off. If you haven’t had the occasion to say holy shit lately here is your chance.
To think there are actually people in this world who look to this man as somehow conveying the word of God and look to him for guidance on their way to eternal salvation is beyond my abilities to comprehend.
But, on the other hand, when you see one of his flock defending their good pastor you are forced to realize they exist.
Did you see the rolling of the eyes while she was listening to the question posed by Anderson Cooper? She actually thinks she’s smarter than him! She’s convinced she has the way, that she has found the path to salvation. She actually believes she is superior. Once again all I can say is: Holy Shit!
The Church of the Holy Shitters will post articles on our holy S.H.I.T. day ( So Happy It’s Thursday)
During 2014 posts appeared on a regular basis almost every Thursday. In 2015 posts will appear regularly but not every Thursday due to my recently being designated the Daily Kos Washington State Community Builder.
Hoping to add some humor, provoke thought, spark debate, deepen understanding, and shed some light on the fecal side.
Remember: “If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit.” ( Shitbit by Poop John the First of the Church of the Holy Shitters)Church of the Holy Shitters
A secular environmental religion, scientifically based, with a focus on the psychology of it all. Our ego is the culprit when it comes to dealing with climate change. We cannot save the planet. We can only save ourselves. Our current egotistical self-perception makes that prospect a dubious one at best. Meekness, humility and a realization that our shit does stink, guides us on our path to true sustainable living and climate equilibrium.