Fish and Chips Will Be Replaced by Squid and Chips Soon!


July 13, 2017 by John Crapper


Everyone knows that fish and chips are a big deal in Britain.  The dish is part of the very fabric of the culture.  So when this news broke a while back it sent shock waves throughout the countryside reminiscent of the results of the Brexit vote.

The headline in the Telegraph 12 December 2016 read:

Squid and chips to replace cod and chips on dinner tables because of warming sea temperatures, scientists say

Government scientists have predicted that the traditional national favourite of fish and chips will soon take on a distinctly Mediterranean flavour.

With warming sea temperatures hampering already badly damaged cod and haddock populations, fishermen will increasingly have to chase the once abundant white fish into colder, more northerly waters.

At the same time warm water fish such as squid, mackerel, sardines and red mullet are being increasingly spotted in Britain’s fishing waters.

“They will probably represent a greater share of UK fisheries catches in 10 years’ time.”


A recent poll conducted by Yougov published in late September , 2016 indicated the British public were not particularly worried about global warming.

A minority of 39 per cent responded that they believed climate change posed a serious problem affecting the world as a whole, compared to 61 per cent for poverty and 77 per cent for terrorism. When asked which issue they believed presented the gravest global threat, only 6 per cent of those polled selected climate change.

Forget rising seas, more powerful storms and warmer temperatures.  I  predict with  this news striking at the heart, soul, and palate of Britain this poll result will change!

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Our climate is changing. I'm humorously serious about addressing it. I'm convinced my ego is the main culprit. My religion, Holy Shitters, demands I humble myself and celebrate the fact my shit stinks.
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