“Save a Little Shit”

Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbili...

Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbilical cord has not yet been cut. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There is nothing more innocent and adorable than a newborn baby.  There is nothing more wondrous than the birth of a child.  There is no more important a job in life than that of being a parent.  There is no more weighty a decision than that of raising a child.  It constitutes one of the great joys and responsibilities of human existence.  These opinions are universally shared throughout the world.

Because the religions most people practice teach they are special, chosen, and made in the image of God, they are conditioned to have an inflated image of their individual importance.  This type of thinking spills over into our reproductive beliefs and practices.  It is deeply ingrained in most of us that it is important we spawn our own prodigy.  We are special and we need to insure that that specialness perpetuates itself by having our “own” offspring.  We therefore want and desire our “own” children and anything less is often viewed as some kind of failure.

That perpetuation of self gets to the essence of our dilemma when trying to deal with overpoopulation.  Most of us want our “own” and most of us want too many of our “own” children.  The Church of the Holy Shitters believes this to be the most personal, hard to recognize and admit, ass-backward, my shit doesn’t stink thinking pattern we have inside of us.  It needs to be confronted and dealt with in a soul-searching, gut-wrenching, ass-forward, my shit is just like all others’ shit, sort of way.

Most religions are in the business of converting people.  They want to convert them to their way of belief.  The Church of the Holy Shitters is no exception.  We also want to convert people to our way of belief.  A conversion needing to take place in a person’s mind to become a true follower of the Church of the Holy Shitters is a conversion in their way of thinking towards adoption.

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Our climate is changing. I'm humorously serious about addressing it. I'm convinced my ego is the main culprit. My religion, Holy Shitters, demands I humble myself and celebrate the fact my shit stinks.
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