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  1. Climate Change and My “I-Pad” I Will Not Surrender

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    August 3, 2017 by John Crapper

    Can’t imagine life without my computer and I-pad.  Just not one of those items I’m willing to live without.

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    I care a lot about climate change. I spend a lot of my time researching the issue and trying to spread the word about its seriousness. But, when I’m honest with myself there are limits to what personal actions I’m willing to take to help mitigate it. Let me explain.

    I spend a lot of time on both my I-pad and computer researching climate change. It is something I’m interested in. Then it dawned on me. Because of these new electronic tools, I now spend a lot more hours every day reading from an electronic device rather than turning the pages of a book. My reading activities now use electricity. There is hardly a day that passes that I don’t plug my I-Pad and computer into the wall socket for a re-charge. Before it was invented the energy it takes to run them were not being used. But these devices have become indispensable for me. I will not give them up to save energy. My wife on the other hand couldn’t care less about an I-pad or a computer   They are not on her list of indispensable items. She would have no problem if they were not produced any more.

    For me, the same is true of commercial flying. I’m not going to give up my travels. It is on my personal “I-Pad” list. I’m not willing to stop boarding flying gas tanks that whisk me away to the far corners of the planet in search of the exotic. Travel is in my blood and just too important regardless of the carbon implications. Other’s would find fault with this position and take the opposite view. They would have no trouble foregoing all of their travels for the cause. But that does not mean they don’t have their own “I-pads” that they refuse to part with.

    We all have those indispensable devices and activities that we just can’t live without. We are not willing to give them up. I’m sure the private pilot would not entertain having to sacrifice his plane for the good of the climate. Too much of a sacrifice for him. It’s his very special “I-pad” and no one will convince him to give it up.

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    The landscaper, for example, will not go without his gas-powered weed eater and leaf blower.   They are just too important to his livelihood.

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    The stock car racer would never stand for anyone taking away his racing machines. They are integral for his lifestyle.

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    The retired couple touring the USA in their gas guzzling recreational vehicle would never tolerate it being taken away. This has been their dream to travel the roads of America seeing the sights they have only dreamed about during their working days. It is their “I-Pad”.

    Realizing that each of us walking the Earth have our personal “I-Pad lists” integral to our lives is an important first step when formulating plans to address the problem of climate change. I will not stand for my I-pad to be taken away. I would fight to prevent such a move. Each of us will do the same to defend our right to have our own personal “I-pads”. We view them as being integral to our way of life.

    The same can be said of America in general. We live in a country that has a way of life. We view that way of life as being integral to maintaining our own personal one. There are things in our communal way of life that we consider our communal “I-pads”. We view them as being an integral part of the American experience. We do not want them taken away. We will resist, even fight those items being taken away from us.  Is Disney Land one of those communal I-pads?  How about Universal Studios?

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    I’m not sure of all the devices and activities that would be put on this communal list of must have items for Americans but I think I can mention a few with confidence. I don’t think we are willing to give up our personal cars. Not yet a least. I don’t think we are willing to sacrifice our TVs. I’m sure we would not tolerate our mobile phones and computers being taken away. Actually, I’m really having a hard time coming up with items we would be willing to put on the chopping block to reduce our lifestyle induced energy consumption. It is a real conundrum. Please help me out in comments below if you have any suggestions.

    Here are a few of the questions I’ve contemplated both over the years and recently, some of which I’ve answered and some I’m still struggling with.

    Would I be willing to forego having my own children in part for the sake of the environment?  Actually my wife and I discussed this before we got married and decided we could.

    Would I be willing to give up eating meat? It’s the most impactful way a person can reduce their carbon footprint I’ve heard.  Well I’ve significantly reduced my intake of red meat but still indulge once in a while.  I can’t fathom giving up fish.

    Would I be willing to close down fast food outlets? I think so but while living in Taiwan McDonalds was one of my favorite places to get a western dietary fix.

    Would I be willing to rake the leaves in my yard instead of using a power blower? Yes, actually I already do this.  I’ve never purchased any power tools to work in my yard.

    Would I be willing to put the electric screwdriver in mothballs and return to the manual one? Actually, I’ve never owned a power screwdriver but a saw and drill are a different matter. I do try and not use power tools as much as possible

    Would I be willing to place my excrement on the curb for pickup once a week to conserve water and capture a valuable resource? Haven’t had the opportunity yet to decide on this one but I’m sure I would.

    Holy Shitters believe that if we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit. Fooling ourselves into thinking we are willing to take actions that we are in actuality not willing to take is not helpful. Sometimes a reality based approach makes things really stink.

    I’ve come to realize that my list of things I’m not willing to live without is much longer than the things I’m willing to give up.  And I purport to care about climate change.  Holy shit!  Now that is an inconvenient truth.

    an20inconvenient20truth20for20kidz-thumb

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  2. Bullitt Center – World’s Greenest Building

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    October 5, 2015 by John Crapper

    Something happened pretty cool in Seattle the other day. Washington State residents can take pride in this marvelous achievement. Let’s hope it spurs a rethinking of architectural design and urban living.

    April 1, 2015, the Bullitt Center proved its status as the greenest commercial building in the world by becoming the first office building to earn Living Building certification, the most challenging benchmark of sustainability in the built environment.

    To be certified as a Living Building a structure is required to be self-sufficient in energy and water for 12 consecutive months and meet green building standards in terms of design and materials used.

    During 2014 the center produced 60% more energy than it used making it the most energy efficient office building in the U.S. and possibly the world. Congratulations.

    The process to achieve this award was rigorous and challenging.

    The Living Building Challenge requires a project to meet 20 specific imperatives within seven performance areas (or “Petals”). For the Bullitt Center, meeting the imperatives will include the following:

    Site: The location will support a pedestrian-, bicycle-, and transit-friendly lifestyle.

    Water: Rainwater will be collected on the roof, stored in an underground cistern and used throughout the building.

    Energy: A solar array will generate as much electricity as the building uses.

    Health: The building will promote health for its occupants, with inviting stairways, operable windows and features to promote walking and resource sharing.

    Materials: The building will not contain any “Red List” hazardous materials, including PVC, cadmium, lead, mercury and hormone-mimicking substances, all of which are commonly found in building components.

    Equity: All workstations are within 30 feet of large operable windows, offering all workers access to fresh air and natural daylight.

    Beauty: Stunning architecture, an innovative photovoltaic array, a green roof and other native plantings, large structural timbers and a revitalized pocket park help beautify the surrounding neighborhood.

    Projects in 12 countries are registered in the Living Building Challenge and six other projects have been certified to date, including McGilvra Place Park, a public space immediately adjacent to the Bullitt Center. McGilvra Place is the first “Living Park” to meet the Landscape Typology requirements of the Challenge.

    “We made a huge, bold bet that human creativity could overcome dozens of unprecedented challenges,” said Denis Hayes, CEO of the Bullitt Foundation and the Bullitt Center. “If Living Buildings can be built and operated in Seattle, the cloudiest major city in the contiguous 48 states, they can and should be built everywhere.”

    If you are interested in taking a tour of this remarkable building you can do so here. I’ve yet to do so myself but plan to in the very near future.

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  3. Methane: It’s a GAS

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    March 13, 2014 by John Crapper

    The Supreme Shitloop

    Eat/Shit

    I am Poop John the First of the Church of the Holy Shitters. I am the founder and creator of the Church of the Holy Shitters.   I realize these are tongue-in-cheek statements but they come with serious messages within.  I just like to laugh and entertain a little bit along the way.  It helps me to stay hopeful and when you spend as much time reading about the environment as I do that’s important. 

    We eat to provide our bodies with energy.  As we digest our food to extract the energy we use, we end up with feces that must be expelled in the act of shitting.  Although our bodies cannot use this fecal material it is returned to the Earth and is useful to other organisms as their food.  These shit-eating organisms transform the crap back into useful shit for us to use again.  Thus completes the eat/shit cycle.

    The teachings of the Church of the Holy Shitters demand we look at things in an ass-forward way.  What does “looking at things ass-forward” actually mean?  Well it means looking at things from the waste end. We believe that if we look at things from the tail end of things it will shed light on subjects that up to now have been in the dark.

    We also believe in practicing Soft and Fluffy Consumerism.  Soft and Fluffy Consumerism is an ass-forward state of being for Holy Shitters.  As a Soft and Fluffy consumer we strive to be soft on our environment.  We contemplate fully the consumption of every product with an eye on minimizing its drain on energy reserves and reducing its negative impact on our environment.  In a sense the world eats (consumption) and shits (pollution and waste) in one big Eat/Shit Shitloop Cycle.

    With these tenants of our religion in mind let’s take a look at our meat consumption in an ass-forward waste-end first way.  First, here are a few facts.

    1. People eat about 250,000,000 tonnes of meat annually worldwide. 
    2. The amount of meat people are eating is growing by about five million tonnes per year.
    3. Meat production is projected to double by 2020 due to increased incomes, population growth, and rising per capita global consumption of meat.
    4. We devote a quarter of the global land surface to livestock production, we feed them 45% of the world’s grain, while they provide just 17% of human energy intake. (UNFAO, 2011)
    5. Large swaths of the Brazilian Amazon are being bulldozed and burned to accommodate expanding cattle ranches. Deforestation is largely resulting from cattle ranching driven by economic incentives and demand for Brazilian beef, according to the Center for International Forestry Research.
    6. American’s worldwide rank in meat consumption by category is as follows:
    • Poultry:                     2
    • Beef and Veal:           3
    • Pork:                       17

    Livestock produces methane.

    Methane is emitted during the production and transport of coal, natural gas and oil.  Emissions also result from the decomposition of livestock manure and the organic components in agro-industrial wastewater.

    Methane offers a unique opportunity to mitigate climate change and simultaneously increase available energy supply. However, without more stringent measures to reduce sources, methane emissions are expected to increase.

    Methane (CH4) is a potent and abundant greenhouse gas contributing to climate change.  Methane is the second most abundant greenhouse gas after carbon dioxide (CO2), accounting for 14 percent of global emissions.  Methane is considered a “short-term climate forcer,” meaning that it has a relatively short lifespan in the atmosphere, approximately 12 years. While methane is in the atmosphere for a shorter period of time and is emitted in smaller quantities than CO2, its ability to trap heat in the atmosphere, which is called its “global warming potential,” is 21 times greater than that of CO2. As a result, methane emissions currently contribute more than one-third of today’s anthropogenic (human caused) warming.  An enhanced global focus on methane is critical to an effective international response to the threat of climate change.

    A substantial reduction in mathane  would only be possible with a substantial worldwide diet change away from animal products .(UNEP. 2010 p82)

    And I might just mention here the many health risks associated with the consumption of meat.

    So an ass-forward waste-end first look at eating meat leads one to conclude that we should strive to eat less meat or none at all for the good of ourselves and the planet.

    Meat

    Eat Less! Meat (Photo credit: Divine Harvester)

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  4. Commandment #6 – A Closer Look

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    November 21, 2013 by John Crapper

    photo-2 2The Church of the Holy Shitters 10 Commandments

    #6  Thou shalt not buy unnecessary shit. 

    1. Thou shalt pursue the understanding of Shit.

    2. One who taketh a shit must giveth a shit.

    3. Thou shalt not act like your shit doesn’t stink.

    4. Thou shalt not poke one’s nose into other people’s shit.

    5. If thou hast nothing constructive to say than don’t say shit.

    6. Thou shalt not buy unnecessary shit.

    7. Thou shalt not giveth someone shit.

    8. Thou shalt conserve shit.

    9. Thou shalt not take other people’s shit.

    10. Thou shalt treat someone else’s shit the same way you would want your shit treated.

    “Capitalism is a great clearinghouse to efficiently produce anything that can possibly be produced which someone can be convinced to buy and do it for the best price. It is a terrible system to conserve anything.”
    (Shitbit by Poop John the First)

    Black Friday

    Walmart is kicking off Black Friday 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day — two hours earlier than last year, the company announced Tuesday.The retailer joins 9 others, including Target, Kmart and Best Buy, in opening its doors and starting Black Friday deals on Thanksgiving. It continues a recent industry trend of moving Black Friday earlier and earlier — ultimately to Thanksgiving Day. Chains are looking to squeeze more out of the hugely profitable holiday shopping season.

    Cyber Monday turns into Cyber week.

    More people, more consumers, more products, more consumption, more growth, more job creation, more people, more consumers, more products, more consumption, more growth in an endless cycle of escalation. In this constant growth circle the idea of conserving is completely lost.

    Up to now economic progress has been defined largely in terms of greater choice, more convenience, enhanced capabilities, enhanced power, greater comfort and less work and manual labor. There has been very little thought given to the waste end of capitalist production when making the decision to build or produce a product. Waste considerations have to date been given only to the end of usefulness side of the product cycle. When the product has reached the end of its usefulness, what should be done with it? What part can be recycled? What part do we send to the landfill? The mindset has been to invent, produce, market and sell first and only after the fact consider what to do with the waste result. The Church of the Holy Shitters considers this ass-backward thinking.

    We suffer from the disease the Church calls consumer diarrhea.  When you get sick you often get diarrhea.   When you are a sick consumer you get a disease we call consumer diarrhea. The two symptoms of this disease are copious energy use and super consumption.

    The symptoms of this disease start at an early age.  They are rooted in our values and closely tied to the way we are raised.

    Followers of the Church of the Holy Shitters aspire to practice Soft and Fluffy Consumerism.  Soft and Fluffy Consumerism is an ass-forward state of being for Holy Shitters.  As a Soft and Fluffy consumer we strive to be soft on our environment.  We contemplate fully the utility of producing, selling and buying each and every product with an eye on minimizing its drain on energy reserves and reducing its negative impact on our environment.  

    As a Soft and Fluffy consumer we also contemplate the waste end of those products we deem necessary to be produced, sold and purchased to ensure they disappear or fluffily fly away quickly to be reincorporated into our environment in a non-toxic reusable manner.

    The 6th commandment of Thou shalt not buy unnecessary shit specifically prohibits you from buying items and services that you don’t really need.

    Here is a Church of the Holy Shitters challenge. From an ass-forward, waste-first perspective, how much of what you see on the shelves of stores would be produced? If you really take the time to contemplate this challenge you will discover just how deeply rooted our ass-backward super consumer thinking is.

    Your practice of the Sacrament of Holy Shitting allows you to increase the number of Smart Shits ultimately leading to the ideal mental state of “Soft and Fluffy”.   The “Soft and Fluffy” state is the closest you can get to being in harmony with the universe and represents the ultimate state of self.  The closer you get to reaching this ultimate state the more accurately you can determine what is necessary versus what is unnecessary for you to buy.

    Striving to have a Smart Shit.

    Striving to have a Smart Shit.

    And please this holiday season remember our 6th commandment and don’t buy unnecessary shit.

     

     

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  5. Decrapulation

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    September 19, 2013 by John Crapper

    Decrapulation: The practice of not buying crap you don’t need and getting rid of crap you don’t use.

    Humans need a lot of stuff to live. The three big requirements for our survival are food, shelter and clothing. We depend on our economy to provide the consumer goods we need to meet these needs. These goods are made by the use of resources available to us that Earth provides. All good enough. Now, you say, tell me something I don’t know.

    The Church of the Holy Shitters believes we suffer from a disease in our society called consumer diarrhea. This basically involves the super-consumption by individuals of goods and services way beyond what is needed for survival. When this disease is taken to its extreme form it takes on a pathological condition know as compulsive hoarding.

    Compulsive hoarding in a private apartment

    Compulsive hoarding in a private apartment (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    Compulsive hoarding (or pathological collecting) is a pattern of behavior that is characterized by the excessive acquisition of and inability or unwillingness to discard large quantities of objects that would seemingly qualify as useless or without value. Society recognizes that this is a damaging condition for which treatment should be sought.

    Super-consumerism is a condition, not as pathological as compulsive hoarding, but much more pervasive throughout our society. Paul Ehrlich made reference to this aspect or our society in a talk he gave at the:

    INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE
    ON POPULATION AND DEVELOPMENT
    Cairo, 5 -13 September 1994
    TOO MANY RICH PEOPLE:
    Weighing Relative Burdens on the Planet

    The United States poses the most serious threat of all to human life support systems. It has a gigantic population, the third largest on Earth, more than a quarter of a billion people. Americans are superconsumers, and use inefficient technologies to feed their appetites. Each, on average, uses 11 kW of energy, twice as much as the average Japanese, more than three times as much as the average Spaniard, and over 100 times as much as an average Bangladeshi.

    Our Church extolls our members to be aware of this super-consuming tendency and take steps to correct it and ultimately live a life of Soft and Fluffy Consumerism. In order to achieve this goal there are strategies we recommend to assist you. We package these strategies and put them into a process we call decrapulation.

    When your body is constipated you take steps to get things flowing again. You will increase your intake of fiber, take a laxative, or in extreme cases you will resort to the use of the old-fashioned enema.

    I can still see my mom preparing the hot water bag and unwinding the hose in preparation leading up to that procedure. I can remember the call to come sit on the toilet and the shiver it would send up my spine. I will never forget the insertion of the nozzle and the warm bloating feeling as I sat on the commode while the bag emptied into my anus. Then the wait before you were given permission to evacuate. Then at last the release and the relief when that permission finally came to let it rip!

    But I digress. My point is when you have too much “stuff” inside your intestinal tract you take steps to relieve the pressure and reduce the “stuff” in order to bring the body back to a state of normalcy and regularity. We can draw lessons from this treatment and apply it to the treatment of the disease we call “consumer diarrhea”.

    Why do we buy and store so much stuff anyway? Chalk it up to evolution. “Humans seem to be wired to acquire belongings” says Tim Kasser, PhD), psychology chair at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois. Dr. Kasser compares our tendency to acquire stuff to the obesity epidemic. He goes on to say:


    Humans need to eat fatty foods to survive – but now there’s a vending machine down every hallway and a convenience store on the corner. Similarly, we still have our innate desire to acquire belongings, but now there are stores on every block, our houses are large and we live in an economic system that depends on people consuming, which amplifies that feeling that consumption is good.

    He calls the urge to buy and own a kind of “retail therapy”. He explains that people like to shop and therefore it is used as a means to temporarily distract them from the stress in their lives. The trouble is it never really solves the underlying problems. You still have the problems but you also have more stuff!

    People also tend to attach a great deal of emotional value to the stuff they have that is completely out of proportion to its actual useful value in their lives. Thus they tend to hoard the stuff they have and it accumulates over time as they continue to buy more. They become more crapulated.

    Randy Frost, PhD, the co-author of Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things has developed a treatment program for hoarding. His lessons can be applied to decrapulation.

    Here are the steps he advises:

    To stop buying shit you don’t need:

    1. Stop buying and bringing home crap you don’t need.

    2. Remind yourself of all the reasons you don’t need or want the item.

    3. Divert yourself by doing something good for yourself like exercising, calling a friend.

    4. Enjoy it at the store but leave it at the store. You don’t need to buy it.

    5. Look don’t touch. Touching items is the first step to buying and owning.

    To get rid of shit you don’t use:

    1. Make a decluttering schedule.

    2. Prepare yourself emotionally to say goodbye to stuff. Don’t think too much about it.

    3. Set a timer for a block of time to declutter and stick to the task. Dr. Frost recommends 2 hours.

    4. Get rid of it if you don’t use it but you say:

          a. so-and-so gave it to me.
          b. but it’s one of a kind.
          c. but that’s from the time when….
          d. but I might need it.
          e. but it’s so gorgeous/pretty/attractive.

    When you start the process of decluttering get three bags. One for stuff you’re going to toss, one for items to donate and one for items you’re not sure about. As the bags full up take them out of the room you’re working on so you can see your progress.

    Practicing the strategies of decrapulation will aid you tremendously on your path to Soft and Fluffy Consumerism and to the full enlightenment, fulfillment and enjoyment of the Shitty Way of Life practiced by the members of the Church of the Holy Shitters.

     

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  6. Holy Shit – A Closer Look

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    May 9, 2013 by John Crapper

    Shit Fountain sculpture

    Shit Fountain sculpture (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    The Church of the Holy Shitters is an environmental religion. We believe in ass-forward thinking which requires putting waste-end considerations first. Consequently we believe that our shit is the holiest of substances on Earth. That does not mean that we bow down to our brown excrement. Rather it means that we elevate it in our mind as a constant reminder of the importance of waste-end considerations when striving to live a sustainable life of Soft and Fluffy consumerism. Most people, upon first exposure to our belief in the holiness of poop, think it rather odd to say the least. However, when you look back in history at the connections our excrement has had to deity in various cultures, you realize it isn’t all that odd. Let’s take a closer look.

    Rome: In Roman mythology Sterquilinus (or “Poop God”) was the god of manure. The Romans understood why poop made such an effective fertilizer and they intended to keep the poop doing its job by – of course – offering thanks and praise to Poop God. Even when Rome became more urbanized, this sort of deity remained popular. The Cloaca Maxima, built under the Etruscans to drain the swamps between the hills of Rome into the Tiber, was overseen by a goddess named Cloacina (or “Sewer Goddess”). Since the sewer kept the Roman Forum dry, obviously Cloacina had to be kept happy. Unlike major religions of the modern world the Roman’s relationship between their deities was not a spiritual one, but a business contract. In Latin, this was called do ut des or “I give, so that you may give.” If the favor was granted, the Roman was expected to carry out his or her end of the bargain. If the favor was not granted, the Roman was under no obligation to do anything.

    Israel: Babylon had a connection with shit as a deity. In the old testament Jeremiah implored Israel to turn from the “worthless idols”.

    Jer. 50:2 “Declare and proclaim among the nations.
    Proclaim it and lift up a standard.
    Do not conceal it but say,
    ‘Babylon has been captured,
    Bel has been put to shame, Marduk has been shattered;
    Her images have been put to shame, her idols have been shattered.’

    The word he uses translated “idols” is “gillulim” – basically meaning balls of poop! The chief deity of the most powerful kingdom on the planet at that time… a ball of poop! Man, I love the Bible!

    China: The Chinese have a long history of connecting shit with deity. First there was Zi-Gu the goddess of toilets. She was a beautiful wife of an actor. A high-ranking minister named Li Jing, fell in love with her, killed her husband and took her to be his mistress. The minister’s wife was insanely jealous and one day killed Zi-Gu while she was on the toilet. From then on Li-Jing’s toilet was haunted by the ghost of his ex-mistress.

    When word got out, Empress Wu elevated her to Godly status to protect the kidneys of her top minister. Immediately the haunting ceased.

    Than there was Qi-Gu the goddess of the lavatory.

    Like ZI-GU, she’s one of the LAVATORY-LADIES; protecting, blessing and disinfecting all who use the smallest room in the house.

    The story goes that she was the mistress of Liu-Bang, first Emperor of the Han Dynasty. It was one big unhappy family as QI-GU and the Empress Lu-Huo fought over domestic issues.

    Empress Lu hated her so much that when the Emperor died, she stripped away QI-GU’s official title and several of her external body parts.

    But worse ignominy was yet to come. Empress Lu grabbed the suffering QI-GU, hauled her off, and threw her into the dirtiest, smelliest, ugliest, foulest latrine in the whole of China.

    She then invited the new Emperor and all his ministers of state to come and look. It must have been a very carefully-worded invitation. But come he did, and fainted dead away at the sight.

    It wasn’t long before QI-GU’s torment became infamous, and soon she was elevated to the rank of Goddess. With ‘rank’, we fear, being the operative word.

    Japan: Then there is the Japanese good luck charm known as Kin no Unko (The Golden Poo) which has been purchased 2.5 million times by the Japanese in the last 7 years. The name plays on the sound of the Japanese word for poop (unko) which sounds the same as “oon” which means luck.

    Kin no Unko

    Kin no Unko (Golden Poo) (Photo credit: Stéfan)

    Professior Takeshi Mitsuhashi gives a more detailed background into the popularity of this product.

    Mitsuhashi explained that there are many word plays in Japanese religion because puns make information easier to teach and remember. One example is a talisman in the shape of a frog used to pray for the safe return of a loved one, the pun being that the word for frog (kaeru) is a synonym of the verb “to return.” “This Golden Poo is very much part of that tradition,” Mitsuhashi asserted.

    Furthermore, there is a long history of poo-related worship in Japan, according to Mitsuhashi.

    “There are more gods in the Shinto religion than it is possible to count, and they reside just about everywhere, inhabiting natural things like trees, rocks and waterfalls,” he said. “Bodily functions are very important — think what a problem it would be if a person couldn’t defecate or urinate properly — so it’s natural that people worshipped deities linked to these functions.”

    The earliest recorded example is a god called Haniyasu, who is mentioned in the Nihon Shoki, an eighth-century text that is one of the most important records of ancient beliefs and practices. Haniyasu is still worshipped at Haruna Jinja, a well-known shrine in Gunma Prefecture. And until fairly recently, it was common to worship deities known collectively as benjo-gami (privy gods) by placing religious figures in or under the privy.

    Mitsuhashi, who is in his 60s, remembers his parents burying a pair of god figures, one male and one female, under the privy in his childhood home.

    ` Professor Mitsuhashi commented on the shape of the Kin no Unko, praising it as a worthy abode for a god. “Our Shinto gods cannot be seen with the naked eye, but when they are depicted in art, they are always shown as perfection incarnate.” He paused and motioned to the golden goofy in front of us. “And that,” he proclaimed, “is pretty much the ‘Perfect Poo.’ It simply doesn’t get much better than that!”

    Thus you can see that from ancient times all the way to modern day, poop related deities have played and will continue to play a vital role in our religious lives. The fact that we believe in elevating shit to Shit or the holiest substance on Earth is not at all weird.

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Our climate is changing. I'm humorously serious about addressing it. I'm convinced my ego is the main culprit. My religion, Holy Shitters, demands I humble myself and celebrate the fact my shit stinks.
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