The Toilet

Keeping a lid on stinky things.
To be uninterested in the toilet is to be uninterested in life.
Shitbits from Poop John the First

Toilet with flush water tank

Toilet with flush water tank (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Loo, john, dunny, privy, bathroom, lavatory, outhouse,WC, longdrop, commodities, powder-room, crapper, throne, porcelain god, washroom, toilet, can, urinal, facilities, pisser, comfort station, head, water-closet, little boys’ room, shitter, pot, nettie, bog, shithouse, porcelain bus…

There is a place…
Like no other place…
A place of learning…
A place of hope…
A place of warmth…
A place of security…
A place of healing…
A place of relaxation…
A place of love…
And no matter what, a part of you is always left behind
Flushed with pride!

The history of the toilet largely describes the evolution of the ‘flush’ toilet. There have been no great changes to toilet design since the late nineteenth century, except in bowl design, cistern shapes and the quantity of water used.

The flush toilet doesn’t have to be the holy grail of hygiene. Developing countries without phone systems didn’t bother with telephone poles and underground cables.  They vaulted directly to cell phone.  The same opportunity exists for developing countries to leapfrog over the dinosaur technologies we have in the North and move to these advanced technologies such as composting latrines or waste stabilization ponds.  It is time for appropriate sanitation technology, not blind faith in flushing. Teddy Roosevelt questioned the original concept of flushing.  He said, “Civilized people ought to know how to dispose of sewage in some other way than putting it into the drinking water.

The Church of the Holy Shitters hopes and prays for the expeditious arrival of this vision!  The technology presently exists to implement this transition. It is the lack of attention, drive and motivation that are the problems.  This Church is dedicated to transforming our ass-backward thought processes with regard to sanitation and ushering in a new ass-forward eco-san way of dealing with our own shit.

Since this is one of our most important missions and since the act of Shitting plays such an integral part in our religion it is only fitting we have our own toilet.  Because we strive for enlightenment through our practice of the Shitloop Cycle and the Sacrament of Shitting it is only right we have a proper name for our toilet to reflect its connection to our philosophy of life and way of thinking.  We therefore introduce for residential patrons the ass-forward

 “ Salvation Head” **
Official Eco-san toilet of the Church of the Holy Shitters
“Saving our Shit One Head at a time!”
“Flush free for thee!”

And for commercial needs we introduce

The “Salvation Headmaster”**
“The Shit Supersaver”
“Flush free for the multitudes”

**  Both in development.

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Our climate is changing. I'm humorously serious about addressing it. I'm convinced my ego is the main culprit. My religion, Holy Shitters, demands I humble myself and celebrate the fact my shit stinks.
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